Relationship Reflection

My Kids Nine Years Ago

My Kids Two Years Ago

There are many studies that show the benefits of the father staying in the picture. For example, when the father goes to church, the children are more likely to go to church as adults. We are reaping those benefits right now. My husband and I are partners because we do different parts of the job. Ultimately, I don’t have to worry about a roof over our head or food or Catholic education because my husband has always found a way to support us even when he has lost his official job for a year at a time. My husband also does laundry and cooks often for our family. My job is to monitor the children and teach them the details. We are both models for our children. There is also a partnership between the older children and me. For example, my eighteen year old and fourteen year old have gone to help their sister with their nephew, and I may be sending my nine year old up to be taken care of by the mother of the nephew and the eighteen year old later this summer. 

        The pictures below show my friend, Eileen, relaxing at home and hiking with her husband in Utah, my friend, Mary, who has seven children, and my sister, Theresa, and I with my mom.

I don’t have close friends that live right near me, but I still talk to my two good friends from high school.  We are all very calm people. We don’t argue. We also share our Catholic culture. Mary lives in Michigan. Eileen lives in Utah. I live in Illinois. Last October, we shared our 50^th birthday together in Illinois. I hadn’t seen Mary for about ten years, and I hadn’t seen Eileen for eight years. We all grew up in California together.                                                     

That’s my mom and I with one of my 11 siblings. I’m on the left Theresa is on the right. My sister-in-law says my mom doesn’t have a judgmental bone in her body. I agree. My mom maintains relationships by liking people unconditionally. That picture was from my visit to California in honor of the fact that my mom is supposed to be dying soon. That was in May, 2013.       

All of the relationships I mentioned are important to me because I have people to talk to about things that trouble me, and I have people who appreciate who I am and appreciate that I listen to them.  One challenge to relationships is when one person does not seem to need the other person as much as that person needs them. Another challenge is being far away from friends. My mom and my friends are non-judgmental and calm. This has helped us maintain our relationships.

I also have a partnership with the teacher in our dual language classroom. We have divided up the jobs, and we each have something unique to teach the children. We are growing a friendship through our partnership. She is also a calm, Catholic, nonjudgmental person.

It is important as a professional to be nonjudgmental if I want parents and children to feel comfortable with me. Proximity also breeds closeness, so if the parents do spend time in the classroom and the children do attend school regularly it will help build relationships. Other regular forms of communication would also help build relationships. It would be important for me to focus on accepting people with different beliefs. It would also be important for me to think about what could be making my relationships with parents or children less than warm if I should feel this lack of warmth from the children or the parents or within myself.                                     

Mary                My Mom and Sister and Me