I asked one of my adult daughters and my
friend to take the communication anxiety test, the verbal aggression test, and
the listening styles test. Everybody agreed that I had a people-oriented
listening style. I did, however, have a couple of insights based on the
explanations in the test results. The description of the people-oriented
listening style explained that people-oriented listeners should be careful
about being too trusting of others. I also noticed the description of the
content-oriented listener. This would be my second favorite style. The
description explained that this style is helpful in school environments but not
as helpful in fast-paced situations. I have noticed my own deficit this way in
fast-paced situations. From these
insights, I have decided that although I am happy with my listening styles, it
wouldn't hurt for me to at least learn the action-oriented listening style.
It surprised me
that both my daughter and I saw me as being significantly verbally aggressive,
and my friends saw me as being moderately verbally aggressive. I intend to look
at the items in the verbal aggression test and be more conscious of my attitude
in both my personal and professional life. In both my personal and professional
life at this time, I tend to avoid conflict altogether. I probably need to
learn some skills for positively resolving conflict.
As far as
communication anxiety, I saw myself as having moderate communication anxiety.
This is because I know how scared I feel when imagining public speaking. My
daughter and friend thought I had low communication anxiety. My friend knows I
used to be on the speech team, but what I would do on the speech team is different
than speaking about something important to me to a large or small group.
Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteI too was rated as people-oriented and found that as I read the description the caution that you mentioned concerning being to trusting really hit home for me. Actually my issue is more that I help whenever I am asked even when it creates a problem for me. I applaud your conviction to learn ways of resolving conflict positively and respectively. I also like that you pointed out the difference between performing during a speech class and talking in front of a group of people that you do not know and that your trying to get them to see you point of view.
Jenn Pore`
I can totally relate to the communication anxiety. I feel that often we feel anxiety, but we are so used to talking with others and such, our anxiety does not show. Over the years, my anxiety has lessened considerably, however, in certain instances I still feel that internal strife.
ReplyDeleteHi Liz, honestly I wasn't surprised when I scored myself significantly verbally aggressive. When I reflect at the end of my workdays I thinks about conversations I have had or meetings that I have attended and I would realize that I could have said something differently or could have agreed to just disagree. My sister and co-worker both said that I was in the moderate range which did surprise me. Although they don't view me a significantly verbally aggressive I know that I sometime feel that I come across that way and this is something that I would love to change. It is never my intention to be argumentative and I definitely don't like to personally attach someone. This is something that in all truth I pray about to be better at and this comes from my own self-evaluation. I enjoyed your post as always :)
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